I have No Idea Where I am on Planet Earth

So one of the first things I ask my English speaking Tokyo friends is "How do you navigate in Tokyo?" Their answer was not encouraging:

"Oh, it's really hard. Even for natives."

Emphasis on each word. Individually.

If it's hard for someone who speaks the language, has lived in Japan their whole life, and has even a normal sense of direction, then I don't have a prayer in the world, because I lack all three of these things.

So as if this means ANYTHING to me, this is a map we were given of our ward (one of 26 segments of Tokyo) when we registered our residence at the local government office. 

Hmmm...yes. I see. Water. I see water on the map. That will be useful in case I run into the ocean. Is there anything else useful this map can tell me?

So in case that doesn't look scary enough, here's a close up of a random neighborhood:

*mmmphmmhelpmmphm*

So back where I came from, the streets are nicely aligned to a grid. Not so here. And each of those numbers is a BLOCK, not a building.

So long story short, TONS of tiny, narrow streets of irregular lengths and directions, none of which have names.

Okay so that's only 90% fair. About 90% of the roads don't have a name. If it has a name, it's BIG and/or a highway. In America, even the dinkiest little back road has a name. Not so here. 

So the first thing that came to my mind was "how can I get directions if there are no street names?!?!?"

1) Google maps is your friend.

2) Google maps will save you so use it.

3) Don't do it alone, use Google maps.

4) If you for any period of time do not have access to Google maps, then your best bet is to move with extreme slowness and caution, check every turn five or six times, and cleave to landmarks.

5) Train lines and stations are your best landmarks.

So when people say "Where do you live?" you give the name of your nearest train station and/or the line the station is on. You can also use the name of your neighborhood if it's a well-known one such as Shibuya or Odaiba. Getting into the specifics beyond that gets messy really fast. Finding neighborhoods is easy, finding the building in that neighborhood is a nightmare. And even the locals know it! One of the first sayings I learned about Tokyo is "The shortest route is the route you KNOW."

Don't try shortcuts. Just don't. It's faster to travel the road most traveled.

So while I am not alone quite yet, I'm trying to make a mental map of where I am and several landmarks to go by. So far, the image in my brain is something like this:

So as you can see, it's less a map and more of a cluster of cloudy nebulous "maybe this is here...?"'s.

In case you haven't figured it out, I have no idea where I am in Tokyo.

And the sad thing is, I don't know any REAL landmarks. The two stores I know, Lawson and Aeon, are everywhere in Japan, and ramen shops are on every other corner (and look at the professional map to see just how many corners there are). So basically, I know no information that would be of any use to anyone if they had to find me.

So I have a lot to learn. People DO live here so I know it CAN be done.

In the mean time, Google maps, I love you. I really, really, REALLY do.